You were with me yesterday, which seems quite a dream today. This day just can repeat the flashback with closed eyes and let you go away. I know this pain is unbearable, the memory is inseparable.Still we have different routes to choose and separate lives to live. Though we promised each other to live up to each other's expectations, we can't afford to do so...knowing this I try erasing all your memories from my past. But, it gets more complicated each time I try doing so.
Why you are being unavoidable ? Every moment I try not thinking of you, and I think more about you then. This insanity has left things haywire in my life. I don't know about your heart..what's going on there. Neither do I want to know as it will add on to my pain, my worries about you. I am running away from you and the more I try evading away from you, the more I get closer to you. Each passing day brings a hope to live a moment of old days with you. But, somehow the circumstances don't support our thoughts and our plans.
One day all these will fade away. We will get busy in our own separate lives. We will have issues to deal with. Those issues will be bigger than this being dealt with both of us every moment. But, no help! Just crying alone in loneliness and darkness is the only relief. I know you will never be mine, and that we will never be together again.... still I live up to this expectation of living life for you and with you.
I know we are never destined to meet, still I keep on longing for you. Why? Because I simply adore you...I simply love you! May be we can meet someday and that would be a dream come true. For the time being let me close my eyes and cry my heart aloud for some time. The pain inside has melted and it is becoming unbearable each day. Let me see you once more and then separate forever.
S.Suman, 20/11/11, Sunday, 3:41 p.m., New Delhi
